last night around midnight, i was awakened by our little angel colette. she was in her bed...unhappy about something and willing to tell anyone that would listen at that hour. so i got out of bed and asked her what the problem was (innocent mistake #1). now she is quite the little chatter box, but at times it seems that she is taking vocabulary lessons from buckwheat. she said, "daddy...i wanna drink. pleeease..." now the drink at night thing is new...but i'm willing to go along. lately...once she has exhausted every known diversion to prevent her from getting into bed...she finally surrenders and of course the first thing she asks for is a drink. a little control on her part...but viewed as a small victory on mine. but now it's the middle of the night...she must really be thirsty. any good parent would come to the aide of their child in need. so i stumble into the kitchen and get her a glass of juice (mind you water won't do..."juzzz daddy") and take it to her bed. she takes one small sip and hands it back to me. not as thirsty as i may have thought...hmmm. i start to tuck her back in and she says, "daddyivanoshnonmyutt." this is a new one...and i don't have a clue. "what honey?" "daddyivanoshnonmybutt." again...given the hour...i think i hear the words "daddy" and "butt." not sure...when all else fails just say, "ok sweetie...night" i turn to leave the room and i hear, "daaaaaddy...i vanoshnonmybutt!" and she starts to cry. crap...almost out the door...but no. so back to her bed (mistake #2), i pick her up (thinking if i get her mouth close to my face i'll either be able to hear her better or i may be able to read her lips in the dark) "daddy can't understand you honey." "iwanoshnonmybutt daddy" "you want lotion on your butt?" "yes" the fog has cleared...we've communicated. no problem...walk over to the dresser and where's the lotion...it was right here. i now remember that we had aria straighten the room over the weekend...do i turn on the light...no...that would not be good. so i head back into our bedroom to find oshn for her butt. i grab one of maria's designer oshns from our counter (mind you...there was a tube of "icy hot" sitting on there also and just for a minute...no). i head back into her room apply the oshn...tuck her back in and try now to make a run for it back to bed and..."iwannaseepindaddysbed." it's just a matter of time (given the hour) that they just wear you down...it's all over. luckily she didn't say, "daddy i want the keys to the car and one of your credit cards." from here...it's simple. i pick her up put her in our bed (big mistake #3) and i go sleep in the guest room. mission accomplished under half an hour...spoiled...you be the judge.